Costa Rica without my Wife and Kids…..You selfish Bastard!
So I’ve been married for over 20 years and have 3 children that are ages 20, 18, and 15 just so that you have a little context here. Over the past few years I’ve adopted a more formal planning process that allows me to focus on designing my own future in my physical, relational, spiritual, and business pillars in my life. These days it’s easy to simply “go with the flow” of life and respond to the incoming external stimulus which results in stagnation, and from my experience takes a great deal of JOY out of the amazing journey of life. So this year I had a plan to take a surf trip to Costa Rica to expand my spiritual side and also to satisfy my physical craving to improve my surf game! Over the last few years, I’ve discovered paddle board surfing up here in Maine and it has been incredibly liberating in so many ways. Since I’ve been reading and studying about spirituality, it has become more apparent to me that my awareness and ability to be present (Work in Progress) is such a great way to avoid the negative emotions that come with looking at the past with the “Should have done this better …or should have done that better” such as guilt or shame and on the flip side looking into the future and thinking about “what is this shitty thing happens… or what if that shitty thing happens” at which time we begin to feel anxiety and worry. Although this seems to be a natural process of protection that our brains are constantly doing on autopilot, it adds stress and steals our ability to be here NOW.
With that as the backdrop, here are a few things that were interesting to me as I travelled to Tamarindo, Costa Rica to Witches Rock Surf Camp. The first thing that was enlightening to me as my wife and I discussed the trip, is that as she would share this information with her friends, the most common response was surprise and shock? Like let me get this straight, you are here with me and your husband went by himself to Costa Rica to surf camp? REALLY???? You let him do this????? To be quite candid, I was a little surprised to here this and wondered why this response was so common, and since I do my best to stay away from assumptions (One of the Rules of the 4 Agreements my Don Miguel Ruiz) I can really only play around with some ideas without speaking directly to those who had this reaction. Is it because husbands and wives don’t travel places solo? perhaps this is true because this is my first trip in 20 years of marriage… Is it possible that some couples have a lack of trust for the other to make good choices? Perhaps… but either way this was interesting for my wife to share with me.
The second thing that I found interesting is that meeting and really getting to know new people was one of the highlights of the trip! I also think that as I’ve grown and become more comfortable with the Man that I am, it has become easier for me to be authentic and to share the truth about my past and current situation without having to constantly keep the EGO happy and fed. This process allowed deeper connections in a much shorter period of time. Contrasting this process to a trip that included my wife and children and this connection opportunity may not have presented itself, and it is so valuable to connect and share with others so that we can learn from them and they can learn from us! This is something that I’m going to try and take into my daily life, say hello to strangers more often….be vulnerable with others….listen with real true presence.
Third thing about the trip was how incredibly grateful I am to have been born in North America, and although I’m Canadian, I am currently a green card holder living in Maine and to have the freedom to travel around the world and visit other countries is such a blessing. Our surf instructors and the staff at the camp are often without these freedoms. They are not typically able to simply travel to USA or Canada for vacation or to visit….not only because this would likely be far beyond the financial capacity of the majority, but also there are MANY restrictions on travel as it relates to immigration from so many countries. So for me, having another reminder of these often taken for granted freedoms that so many others do not have put me in a state of gratefulness.
Lastly the surfing….. WOW, it’s difficult to describe the feeling of pure JOY when you are able to look over your shoulder and seeing a wave approaching and at just the right time you paddle (at the right pace), pop your feet up on the board, and then begin to ride the wave for only a few seconds until you fall or jump off into the beautiful, warm waters. This is REAL presence, this is the feeling that so many people that surf, ski, mountain climb, bike, feel and with all the distractions of daily life can facilitate being in the moment! And as incredible as this experience is, it’s even greater when you are sharing the moment with other people that you have met. It’s as exciting to see them catch a wave as it is for you to catch one yourself. This was so important to me because as a group we had so many differences as it relates to our political views, where we were raised, our reasons for being there in Costa Rica…But none of that mattered when we were together. We respected each others views and in these moments it becomes more clear that we are all more alike than we are different.
There were plenty of times while I was traveling, or sitting alone reading, when I would miss my family and wish they were with me, but that would have been a different experience…not better or worse but different. The trip opened up so many things for me…my love of travel, my love of meeting new people, my love of the ocean, but also a reminder that I’m always capable of NEW things and that getting uncomfortable is often difficult in the “same routine” and that changing geography or doing something you have never done can open up doors that may have been closed for too long. So here is to making this an annual thing! Please share if you enjoyed reading and get yourself a trip booked! I’d compare travel to reading…. If you know how to read but don’t, this is no different than being illiterate, and the same goes for travel…If you have the resources and freedom to travel, but don’t, this is no different than being restricted from doing so.
