Do Men and Women Invest in themselves equally?
Over the years as a corporate sales engineer we would constantly be going to sales conferences or management would enroll the team into some form of sales bootcamp and/or trainings with the hope that these investments would result in increased sales and profit…. So early on in my career I started to correlate the importance of learning and investing in training as a way to improve and grow, but what about my wonderful wife?? Let’s be honest, she along with all the other stay at home mothers have career dreams and aspirations as well. In high school they are thinking about what they want to do when they finish college and enter the work force but than in so many instances nature has a way of managing those priorities.
In our case, immediately after graduation we moved to Boston for me to start my career as we had our first born son to take care of and decided that Steph would stay home and raise him. So while I spent the next several years of my life training and improving in sales and my career saying “yes” to whatever they asked me to do, Steph was at home taking care of our son and putting him as a priority and all of her needs and desires began to take a back seat. The other lovely variable that comes into the equation typically is that since the living costs in Boston and many locations in north america are so high, Steph also had to work some on the weekends so that we could make ends meet. So my hypothesis is this….. in order to be able to take care of our families and be at our best we need to spend time and energy investing in US but it would seem that more often than not, the MAN get’s the bulk of these opportunities and over the years this has become more natural for me but for our wonderful selfless wives and the mothers of our children this is not as natural for them, as they are so used to putting the children and their needs before their own.
As I’m writing this article, I’m in California preparing for a couple of long days of reflection and growth with a group of Men sharing and learning from one another and it reminded me of several close women in my life that focus so much on others that they may be missing out on personal growth and care that would accelerate what they can give to their families. In a round a bout way I’m saying that there may be such a thing as giving too much and at times may want to consider saying NO? The biggest changes in my life have happened by putting myself into environments where I learn from others and begin to implement new strategies into my life.
Ok so now what?? Nothing really outside the fact that for all the mothers and wives that focus so much on the children and their lives, we so very appreciate of all that you do, but looking back I don’t believe that I put a priority on reminding my wife of how important it was to spend time for HER and as a husband to facilitate making this happen and could still be doing a better job today. So for all the MEN reading this, be more intentional with your wives and the mother of your children to allow them time for working out, a hobby they love, a trip with their good friends. This investment will pay off so find a way to make it happen, and although looking back and realizing I could have done a better job at this, I’m hoping that others can take this information and make the necessary moves to allow this to become a high priority.
Men continue to invest in YOU, but it is also your duty to open up doors of opportunity for your wives to invest in THEM as this may not be as natural for them to do with mother nature on one shoulder telling them to get back to taking care of those lovely offspring! And ladies there is NO guilt or shame in going to the gym or having a pow wow with the ladies while the kids hang with Dad or learn how to make Macaroni and Cheese on their own.
