How Unconscious are we anyway?
As I continue to get older, I find myself interested in gaining a higher level of consciousness or self awareness… or “enlightenment” but what exactly does this really mean? It may mean something different for you than it does for me, but I’ve recognized that I’m constantly distracted from the current moment with anything from phone notifications to thoughts about what I “Should”, or “Could” be doing… or perhaps thinking about what was done in the past…
Either way, it seems that these days with all of the constant demands of marriage, business ownership, raising healthy/confident/productive children coupled with a smart phone that is like an artificial intelligence machine constantly adapting to what I like and don’t like……is it even possible???? My belief is that if I can get a better handle at being in the moment and present through meditation practice and by consciously being aware of the fact that my brain is also a machine working to keep me alive and safe based on all the experiences that i’ve had in the past, my hope is to harness the chaos and be more in the NOW where it really matters most.
So I’ve decided to be more intentional as it relates to my growth in this magical non-physical realm. Making matters worse is that I’m a Chemical Engineer by education and so unlike those fucking lunatic Electrical Engineers, we can actually mix up our ingredients in the physical realm and SEE the results, so I’m beginning to put more emphasis on the fact that shit is still REAL even if we can’t see it. Raised as a catholic growing up, and simply going through life and wanting to seek and understand what is real and what isn’t, I’ve come to my own conclusion that religion itself is simply a grouping of individuals that have some operating and belief “guidelines” that for the most part can be quite healthy. These guidelines and principals provide a general direction and moral system to live ones life.
The thing that has confused me though is that I also believe that homosexuality is not a choice, but something that some people are born with. And I’m sure that this won’t be a popular opinion, but I also believe that if a child experiences sexual trauma and perhaps abuse as a child, this could also lead to promiscuity and confusion around sexuality leading to a constant struggle with the individual around sexual orientation. I’m sure most would agree that based on our current society, neither of these scenerios would way be the simplest and easiest of pathways to follow as an individual. That said, inside the catholic religion, homosexuality is considered sinful and therefore it is contradictory to by beliefs? If god made us then how is it possible that someone who is born homosexual is by nature a sinner?? So as it relates to religion, I feel as though it is healthy to surround yourself with people that have a desire to push more light into the world and help the less fortunate and go on mission trips, but I’m just not certain that there is ONE single religion that has it all right, so I believe that God is with me all of the time and that divinity is within.
The consciousness I’m referring to though here, is our own personal relationship with divinity, and having the ability to slow the external stimulus down so that we can hear the faint internal messages guiding our moves. There are times in my life where I’ve felt closer and more certain around these messages, and there are times when I’ve been so distracted by all the noise that I’ve not heard a thing. The latter is where I tend to feel the most lost and unclear for sure, so I’m working to be more intentional around finding ways to stop or reduce the noise…..Like noise cancelling headphones.
Well I’ve decided to take a week long getaway to Costa Rica to get some time with just ME and nobody else! This will be the first time in my marriage of 20+ years where I’ll be traveling without the intent on meeting up with friends, or a trip with family, just a trip to work on getting closer to the present and to disconnect from as much outside noise as possible. My hope for this trip is to improve my surfing abilities which I took up as a hobby in Maine of all places…. and it has provided me the distinct pleasure of being in the moment of joy! When I’m out in the ocean, I’m thinking of the next wave, of balancing, of the beauty…but not much else floats into my brain during my surfing adventures and it acts as a form of meditation for me.
I’ll follow up with an article of how the trip goes and if it happens to provide me with the level of connection that I’m intending and feel free to comment on how YOU find ways to connect with nature and the divine so that I can also gain insights.
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