In order to Change our Results we Must Change our Stories!
Going through life we have our own set of default belief systems that we either learned through our parents, coaches, churches or our surroundings. So we get these beliefs and “View” of the world based on all of these experiences growing up and then we begin to take this data and formulate our own opinions and beliefs based on this information. The brain is naturally trying to protect us from harm and at its core is trying to keep us ALIVE…. therefore it will try and stop us from experiencing negative emotions. The unfortunate part of all of this is that the GOLD lies inside the uncomfort and these negative emotions are the fuel for change and NEW results. So as fucked up as this is, we need to begin to consciously change the way we view uncomfort and begin to frame these feelings as though we are about to get some serious growth.
Let’s for example say that we are going to mow the lawn and the story that I’m telling myself is that I’m tired and that mowing the lawn is a waste of my time and there are so many “Better” things that I could be doing than these crappy tasks… Guess what feelings I’m having while I’m mowing the lawn? Frustration, Anger, anxiety…. you get the picture, Now what if the Story I’m telling myself is; Mowing the lawn is great exercise and it’s also something my wife likes done so it helps our relationship and I get to enjoy the outdoors! What are my feelings going to be while mowing?? Joy, Happiness, pride…. and so on.
The work of Byron Katie is really the foundation of this concept of exploring the stories that we tell ourselves in order to uncover the truth and therefore the re-framing that allows us to experience the true joy & love that exists. Suggest reading her book “Loving what is” and putting into practice these basic principals of exploring and asking the questions necessary to uncover the real truth.
This is a simply way to describe the power of the stories we tell ourselves and it flows like this;
Story →Feelings →Actions →Results
So as I tell myself the story of “Great exercise….” what action do I take? as compared to the story of negativity which would likely result in procrastination or avoidance.
This concept has helped turn my most precious relationships completely around because when I find myself experiencing negative emotions like Anger, frustration, guilt, shame and these negative emotions, I begin to re-write the stories so that they become stories that bring me feelings of strength, power, love, forgiveness, empathy…. and then the actions that I take begin to show results that build and not burn.
What’s amazing is that we are the authors of the stories we tell ourselves and so why not author stories that advance our relationships instead of those that create distance? Why not author stories that build our businesses instead of burning them down?
And so when it comes to the uncomfort that know is required for us to grow and become better versions of ourselves, we can begin to construct NEW and serving stories of courage and strength that will lead us to take the actions necessary to get the results we desire.
Step into those feelings of uncomfort and get very comfortable being uncomfortable! It’s a constant process and the better I get at being vulnerable and stepping into the uncomfortable, the better the results that begin to show up in my life. It’s a constant work of progress every single day…..
